“Abuelo, where are you?” I spoke into the phone.
“Home Princesa” he replied. I missed him so much. Why he left before I woke up? That I can’t tell you.
“Why did you leave so soon papa” I asked choking up. I know he could tell I’m crying and he won’t be happy about it.
“I’ll be back before you know it, dry up those tears princesa. You know how I feel about tears. My babies are too precious for tears..” he said. I could hear the sadness in his voice, but it was also very stern. I didn’t understand why he was sad though. He’s the one that left me. I could hear my grandmother in the back saying hello and that she loves me. I thought this phone call would have gave me answers, but it only made me feel overwhelmed. It was a bit too much, something I felt I couldn’t handle it.
“Te amo Papa, tell Mama also” I said lowly but quickly.
“We both love you too” he responded sounding somewhat disappointed that I wanted to end the conversation so soon. I got up off the couch handing the phone back over to Justin and went back into the room to lay down. Maybe daddy will visit me tonight.
“I don’t know what the fuck to do I’m tired now.” I told my grandfather.
“Watch your mouth boy, and hang in there. Take care baby, we love you.” My nana spoke. I guess my grandfather gave the phone to her.
“Sorry, love you both too.” I said ignoring the second part. With that I hung up the phone. I dialed Ariel’s number for the fourth time today but unlike before it went straight to voice-mail. Trying again I got the same thing:
“Hey you’ve reached Ariel, I’ll get back to you when I feel like it. Bye.” So I gave up. I walked back in my room to find Alexis laying under the cover with her face turned to the left. I did nothing but lent over to kiss her forehead.
“Just us tonight Lexi” I mumbled before getting under the covers and closing my heavy eyes.
I heard the doctor’s voice in my head from the night my mom decided to get Alexis checked out by the psychiatrist. The night we thought she was gonna be diagnosed with a manic-depressive disorder.
“So we prescribed these pills for Alexis to help her anxiety. The fact that she deals with things differently from you guys, after awhile she can’t hold it anymore which is the cause for her outburst or sudden change of mood. Sometimes things might even trigger them off.”
“I am also sending her to a therapist which I know is good for dealing with people like Alexis. I just want you guys to know her attendance is important, if you want improvement. For the first couple of months she has to attend 5 days a week, I will be giving you the number so you all can choose the days that suites her schedule best. As soon as we see progress the visits will be reduced, but time may be increased. Please make sure she attends these sessions and that her medication is taken.” The doctor explained. “Is she bi-polar?” Ariel asked.
“Well Alexis has symptoms of Post traumatic stress. Her condition isn’t as bad as others, and I wouldn’t fully diagnose her with it. I can see her getting there if she isn’t taken care of though.” The look on my mothers face told me that she’s heard enough for the night. I knew then that I had to be strong for everyone. My mom is not the one to show she’s hurt but I knew with my dad not being here to help her out, she can’t control her demeanor. The look on Alexis’ face told me she didn’t have a clue of what was going on, nor did it look like she cared. Ariel looked annoyed and upset. Me… I didn’t know what to do or think, so I just stayed quiet.
My eyes quickly opened when the most obvious shit came to mind. Alexis hasn’t been taking those fucking pills! The question is how long though?
After going home and taking a quick shower and packing my stuff, Crystal and I made our way to her mothers house which didn’t take that long as I expected, since it was only a 35 min drive. I was actually nervous which was weird because Mama J loved me and the thing is I haven’t seen her in a while. By now I was getting my stuff out the car. Meanwhile, Crystal made her way up the entrance to ring the doorbell. When I got up there I gave her one of my bags, and impatiently waited for someone to answer.
“Chill out.” Crystal said probably catching on with my attitude, but before I could respond the door swung open to reveal the reason I will be going home tonight.
“Wass good?” He asked, grinning.
Fuck My Life.
“Hi Uncle Junior.” Her little voice spoke into the phone.
“Wassup Jade, where yo daddy at?” I asked.
“He buying my new new pink! carrr.” Trying to make me jealous, she emphasized on pink.
“Ooh word another one, you gon’ make me drive it?” I asked.
“You tew big, you gon’ break it,” she giggled.
“Aight tell yo pops to call me back.” I told her before she hung up.
I didn’t get to finish handling my shit out here in Cali. For the most part I just been chilling and plotting. I met a couple new niggas out here, some that proved their loyalty to me while others I knew not to fuck with. I also linked up with some of my old niggas. Its crazy though because one of them is now the closest to me out here in Cali. He was the one I promised myself I was gonna find and kill. He aint do shit to me personally but he did enough to someone that meant more to me than life itself, so I took it personal. I ran into him about 3 weeks after I came out to California. I really thought I was gonna kill his ass on site but then I thought about how stupid it would be for me to fuck with him, knowing he been here for a good minute and knew enough niggas to have me in some shit. The plan I had for myself before I got to California was to stay low before I started handling my business. Staying low and plotting on him was some smart shit because it turned out that I knew the people he fucked with, and they were suppose to be helping me out with the shit I came here to do. Instead of following through with my plan to kill him, we linked up. I spoke to him and he explained it all to me. Why he did what he did to one of the few people in this world that I treasured. He told me what’s been going on in his life, and why he moved out here to Cali. Its ironic for sure that we were both out here for the same reasons just a different situation. He’s probably one of the few people that I feel I can actually relate to in my situation. I felt bad for him because the only family he had was his daughter, which meant she was at risk too. He’s out here worrying about his life and his innocent two year old that yet holds enough power on both parties of this shit. From then on I fucked with the man, respected him more then anyone out here. One thing’s for sure though, he became family and fucking with him or I was never a smart decision. As much as we hate to body these bitch niggas out here, we don’t ever hesitate to do it. We both got people to protect, and we’re not tryna lose anyone else.
“Excuse me.” I said, pushing past Chris to get in the house.
“Where’s mama?” Crystal asked while coming in after me.
“In the kitchen.” Her brother answered. I followed the smell of the food and found the kitchen.
“Hey mama.” I said shyly.
“Hi baby!” She excitedly came over looking me up and down before pulling me into a hug.
“How have you been?” I asked after pulling apart.
“How have I been? How have you been?” She asked with an eyebrow raised.
“Fine mama, do you have an outlet that I can use to plug my phone in?” I asked changing the subject.
“Chris come plug her phone in for her.”
“And we’ll talk later.” She said while looking at me, after proceeding with the preparation for dinner. Yeah I’m definitely going home tonight.
4 HOURS LATER
“I guess Jade could pass a message.” I laughed into the phone, after picking it up.
“Naah nigga I checked my calls list and I seen your name. But what’s good?” He responded.
“We got shit to handle.” I stated all serious now.
“When don’t we, but shit like what?” He asked.
“Going back to New York for a couple of weeks. You wid it?” I asked.
“You really asking me this shit” he chuckled. I just shook my head and smirked.
“Aight, I’ma hit a couple niggas up to let them know we out. Need them to hold it down while we’re gone. Tell Sasha to have the jet ready by Friday.”
“Jade get down from there.” He yelled in the background.
“But when we gon’ set up my ferrari daddy?” She asked him.
“When we get back from New York baby girl.” He answered her right before I hung up the phone.